I picked up a book in the store that had been recommended to me, but I couldn’t get past the blurb. In a nutshell, girl gets knocked up, then abandoned by her baby-daddy. But lucky her! Baby-daddy’s brother volunteers to be her birth coach. Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwww! That sounds more like a Maury Povich episode than a romance novel.
Pass.
Headline Review
Rating: Not 2 Read
The blurb: Darcey and Nieve were the closest and best of friends, through school, as neighbours, travelling round Europe: this was a friendship for life. Until Nieve, returning from Europe a little later than her friend, stole the heart of Aidan, the boy Darcey had fallen in love with in her absence. Aidan was going to propose the very night Nieve caught his eye, and Darcey knew it. For the next ten years she’s haunted by the memory of her humiliation. No business success – and there are many – no comfort her warm if eccentric family can offer, not even marriage to Neil, can console her. And then the invitation comes: to the wedding of Aidan and Nieve, neither of whom she’s seen since they left Ireland for life in the USA. They’re coming home to have the wedding of a lifetime at Ireland’s most expensive hotel. Will Darcey be there? Will there be fireworks? And can the past be put to rest at last?
The worst behavior in this book is the lack of editing. The never-ending flashbacks, repetitive narrative, focus on inconsequential while glossing over the pertinent all add up to a mess of epic proportions. How epic? Over 600 pages! Once again, in an effort to avoid spoilers in my review, my comments might not seem like much. But trust me when I say, there’s more wrong with this book than right. Nieve’s the ultimate selfish, money-grubbing, boyfriend-stealing, jealous “best” friend to the less glamorous but smarter but still incredibly stupid Darcey. Ten years after the breakup, Darcey is still scarred–unable to sustain a long-term relationship with any man. There’s tons of pages about her workday and Nieve’s obsession with money has the predictable result. The ending leaves the reader way too unsatisfied–after slogging through so many pages, I was kinda hoping for the secret of the universe or something more mindblowing than the tripe placed before me.
Note to author: I don’t know any woman who refers to her ex-husband by his full name (i.e.: Joe Findley)–particularly when she’s thinking to herself, as in “She couldn’t believe she had to travel with Joe Findley” and “Joe Findley took her hand,” and “Someone reached for her: Joe Findley.” It is my humble opinion that if you’ve been naked with a guy more than once, formality’s been shed with your underwear.
And by all means, let’s keep perpetuating that old fallacy that every scandal deserves a mega-signing bonus from a publishing company for a tell-all book!
No one should be punished with this tome of self-indulgence and greed. To save mankind, I intend to shred this book for the cat’s box.
Pocket Books
Rating: 2 Read
The blurb: In the California coastal town of Angel’s Bay, an old legend says that sometimes, when they’re needed, angels from an old shipwreck appear and good triumphs over evil. Award-winning, bestselling author Barbara Freethy enchants with the first book in a series that will capture your heart.
Jenna Davies flees to the close-knit community of Angel’s Bay with a seven-year-old child, a dangerous secret, and a heart full of pain. She wants nothing more than to live a quiet life, but when she sees a teenager plunge off the pier, she doesn’t hesitate to dive in after her. But saving the desperate girl’s life thrusts Jenna into a spotlight she can ill afford. Suddenly everyone in town wants to know her story — a story that could cost her life.
Reid Tanner was a tough reporter until a shattering incident changed everything. Now all of his instincts are on alert. Who is Jenna, and what is she hiding? He wants answers, but his quest for the truth could put them all in danger. They say love is a miracle — but can it keep Jenna safe in his arms?
In a word? Magical. This heart-warming story of a small town and its charming residents can make even an atheist like me believe in angels. Jenna’s a courageous woman, but she has faults and guilt she needs to atone for. Reid’s fighting his own demons, but deep down, he wants to do what’s right. And Lexie is a crucial part of the story, not just tossed in for added conflict.
There’s no I-hate-him/I-love-him nonsense. Both characters are instantly attracted to one another but have good reason to avoid acting on that attraction. The one flaw is that the ending comes too fast and we never figure out how the bad guy caught up to his prey. But these pesky details do little to tarnish the gold in these pages.
I’m looking forward to another trip to Angel’s Bay, to see what happens with Charlotte, Joe, and Andrew; with Colin and Kara; and of course, to catch up with Reid, Jenna, and Lexie.
A thoroughly enjoyable read in a town I can’t wait to revisit!
Random House 
Rating: Not 2 Read
The blurb: When twenty-eight year old Lexi Smart wakes up in a London hospital, she’s in for a big surprise. Her teeth are perfect. Her body is toned. Her handbag is Louis Vuitton. Having survived a car accident, Lexi has lost a big chunk of her memory, three years to be exact, and she’s about to find out just how much things have changed. Somehow Lexi went from a twenty-five year old working girl to a corporate big shot with a sleek new loft, a personal assistant, a carb-free diet, and a set of glamorous new friends. And who is this gorgeous husband–who also happens to be a multi-millionaire? With her mind still stuck three years in reverse, Lexi greets this brave new world determined to be the person she…well, seems to be. That is, until an adorably disheveled architect drops the biggest bombshell of all.
Suddenly Lexi is scrambling to catch her balance. Her new life, it turns out, comes complete with secrets, schemes and intrigue. How on earth did all this happen? Will she ever remember? And what will happen when she does?
Amazing. It’s only the first week of January and I’ve already read the worst book of the year! Lexi Smart begins the book as the usual chick-lit heroine who’s young, naive, and spending most of her money on drinks. When she wakes up in the hospital, she’s thin, successful, and married to the world’s creepiest guy. There is no one in this book who’s sympathetic. Not Lexi’s mother, who is obsessed with her dogs to the detriment of the people in her life. Not the bratty kleptomaniac baby sister who whines through most of the book about how rough she has it. Not the husband who has a multi-billion dollar business, but fell in love with Lexi after meeting her on a game show and married her within months of that first meeting. Yeah, that’s a calculating guy. Not even Lexi who sold her soul for money, can’t remember the deal so she wants to back out, but is carrying on an extramarital affair with her husband’s business partner. No way do I believe this dumb, borderline alcoholic catapulted to the Board of Directors of her company within two years simply because she lost on a Donald Trump-style gameshow. And did I mention that she knows designer clothes and fine wines–although she forgets the wine bit as an amnesiac, but still can instantly tell that a stranger’s pantsuit is Anne Klein on sight. Her personality has gone 360–180 before the hospital, and another 180 when she wakes up.
With characters like these, why would I root for them? Why would I want Lexi to get everything she wants and a happily ever after to boot? After three years of marriage, she’s on to some other guy and planning to leave her husband for the new man. Really? And how long do we expect that relationship to last?
Maybe if the husband had been more than just obsessively creepy. If he’d been having an affair with Lexi’s new best friend. Or if he kicked puppies for jollies. But honestly? The worst thing about him is that he’s obsessively neat and tends to overuse the phrase, “loft-style living.” At one point, the new guy asks Lexi if she and her husband have done the Mont Blanc recently, knowing full well she has no idea what that is. I won’t spoil the surprise for the reader, (poor deluded fool if you still intend to read this book!) but once again, the answer isn’t anything so bizarro she should be spilling her guts to her fellow adulterer. And the whip she finds in the drawer is never explained.
The entire ending is a tacked on mess that even Disney on hallucinogens wouldn’t try to create.
To be honest, I almost felt sorry for the author. She wrote herself into a no-win situation with this one. While I was reading I kept thinking, “The only way she can redeem this heroine is if this is all a dream.” But if the entire episode had been a dream, readers would lynch the author for selling out the story.
Remember Me? I need brain bleaching to forget!
Berkley Jove 
Rating: 2 Read At Your Own Risk
The blurb: Reece Gilmore has come a long way to see the stunning view below her. As the sole survivor of a brutal crime back East, she has been on the run, desperately fighting the nightmares and panic attacks that haunt her. Reece settles in Angel’s Fist, Wyoming-temporarily, at least-and takes a job at a local diner. And now she’s hiked this mountain all by herself. It was glorious, she thought, as she peered through her binoculars at the Snake River churning below.
Then Reece saw the man and woman on the opposite bank. Arguing. Fighting. And suddenly, the man was on top of the woman, his hands around her throat . . .
Enjoying a moment of solitude a bit farther down the trail is a gruff loner named Brody. But by the time Reece reaches him and brings him to the scene, the pair has vanished. When authorities comb the area where she saw the attack, they find nothing. No signs of struggle. No freshly turned earth. Not even a tire track.
And no one in Angel’s Fist seems to believe her. After all, she’s a newcomer in town, with a reputation for being jumpy and jittery-maybe even a little fragile. Maybe it’s time to run again, to move on . . .
Reece Gilmore knows there’s a killer in Angel’s Fist, even if Brody, despite his seeming impatience and desire to keep her at arm’s length, is the only one willing to believe her. When a series of menacing events makes it clear that someone wants her out of the way, Reece must put her trust in Brody-and herself-to find out if there is a killer in Angel’s Fist before it’s too late.
I don’t know; maybe it’s me. But I found this story to fall a little on the flat side. The romance ran too cheesy to satisfy without giving indigestion and the mystery was fairly obvious from the start and thus ran on too long. The main characters were hardly ideals. Reece is not only jumpy and jittery, she’s also snippy when she’s called on it. When someone comments on the fact she’s running around barefoot (a fact she didn’t notice until it’s brought to her attention) she retorts with some smart-aleck remark about training for some marathon, rather than just admitting she was preoccupied and didn’t notice. When, after a particularly horrible day, that same townie mentions she might want to try aromatherapy to help her calm her nerves, she again resorts to sarcasm rather than a simple, polite response.
Brody’s an odd duck. While he has some great lines which made me laugh out loud, he also waffles on his opinion about Reece. Suggesting his agent (he’s a mystery/suspense writer) take a look at his girlfriend’s cookbook? Really? Oh, okay. Maybe if Brody’s got the sales record of someone like Nora behind him, he could pull that kind of weight, but I never got the idea this particular author had movie producers knocking on his cabin door. I think Brody really lost me, however, when he weighed the pros and cons of having Reece in his life and high on the list was her meals and the sex. I know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and his libido, but I’d really like my romance hero to show a little more depth.
The mystery…is she sabotaging herself or is someone trying to make her crazy?…drags on for way too long and the more incidents that occur, the more apparent The Bad Guy becomes. Without delving into spoiler territory, let’s just quote the old, “Methinks he doth protest too much.” And good Lord, why do characters in mystery novels go running to “solve the mystery” without telling anyone where they’re going?
Nora does paint a lovely view of the scenery and some of her secondary characters add some well-deserved relief. But all in all, this is not one of her stellar works.
St. Martin’s Press
Rating: 2 Read At Your Own Risk
The blurb: When reporter Ellen Gleeson gets a “Have You Seen This Child?” flyer in the mail, she almost throws it away. But something about it makes her look again, and her heart stops. The child in the photo looks exactly like her adopted son, Will. Could the child in the photo really be her son?
Everything inside her tells her to deny the similarity between her son and the photo, because she knows her adoption was lawful. But she’s a journalist and won’t be able to stop thinking about the photo until she figures out the truth. And she can’t shake the question: if Will rightfully belongs to someone else, should she keep him or give him up?
She investigates, uncovering clues no one was meant to discover, and when she digs too deep, she risks losing her life — and that of the son she loves.
In this emotionally charged, heart-pounding thriller Lisa has broken new ground. LOOK AGAIN questions the very essence of parenthood and raises a moral quandary that will haunt readers long after they have finished the last page, leaving them with the ultimate question, “What would I do?”
Generally, I’m a big fan of Lisa Scottoline’s books. Her sassy heroines, her quirky sense of humor, and the whole female empowerment angle usually work for me. Not this time. Oh, sure. The premise plays on a mother’s worst fear: how much would you fight to keep your child? But from the get-go, Ellen’s reactions had me shaking my head. And the solution is so far-fetched and over-reaching, it not only strained credulity, it snapped credulity into teeny-tiny pieces.
I don’t want to include spoilers in this review but suffice it to say that whenever an author relies on criminalizing a victim to make the heroine’s questionable actions more redeemable, I lose patience. The romance was one-dimensional and quite frankly, the boss/hero came across as smarmy rather than charming. While it’s not classic Scottoline, there are some scenes that make a reader take a step back and some stellar lines regarding motherhood and what it means to be a parent, regardless of childbirth.
Unfortunately, too many bad guys, a sappy, tacked-on ending that didn’t really satisfy the big question from the first page, and characters that dance around morality like it’s Free Alabama Slammer Night at the disco give this book a “Meh…” rating.
Avon
Rating: Not 2 Read
The blurb: One spectacular Christmas, Lady Perdita Selby, known to her friends and family as Poppy, met the man she thought she would love forever. The devilishly attractive Duke of Fletcher was the perfect match for the innocent, breathtakingly beautiful young Englishwoman, and theirs was the most romantic wedding she had ever seen. Four years later, Poppy and the duke have become the toast of the ton… but behind closed doors the spark of their love affair has burned out.
Unwilling to lose the woman he still lusts after, the duke is determined to win back his beguiling bride’s delectable affections…and surpass the heady days of first love with a truly sinful seduction.
Ever have to return an item you ordered online or via catalog? And you have to check the box with the reason for the return? One of those choices is usually, “Not as advertised.” Those three words sum up my feelings about this book. The blurb has absolutely nothing in common with the story inside.
Maybe part of the problem is that you’re not ever really introduced to these characters. They’re already an engaged couple, looking forward to their wedding, when the book opens. The very next chapter takes place four years later, when neither character is happy. But since I really didn’t know them, I didn’t care that they weren’t happy. There’d been no great sacrifice on either’s part, no real reason I should want them to be happy. In fact, the reason for their unhappiness (Poppy wasn’t a firecracker in the bedroom) left me bored to tears. And the solution provided for their marital problem was so contrived and tacked-on, I felt cheated by the entire setup.
I was also annoyed by the numerous subplots: Jemma and her husband, the Duke of Beaumont, the Duke of Villiers, who’s dying, then not dying, then dying again, Lord Strange, and of course, Poppy’s mother–the ultimate bitch. The only relationship I cared about was Charlotte and the ailing duke (along with his reticent heir), but I was left sadly hanging on that score.
I was looking for a nice feel-good feast based somehow on the holidays. What I got was a dried-out turkey and tepid leftovers.
Harper Collins
Rating: Not 2 Read
The blurb: Maddie is determined to uncover the untold story about the town’s sordid past—her past. As a child, Maddie lost everything, and now she’s back at the scene of the scandal—a local establishment that’s always belonged to the Hennessys—determined to uncover the truth, and nothing is going to stand in her way. Especially not a black-haired, blue-eyed Hennessy.
Everyone in Truly knows that the Hennessy men are irresistible, and the current owner, Mick, is no exception. His late father was a skirt-chasing heartbreaker who ended up causing disaster for two families. So far, Mick’s managed to keep the ladies in line, but when he claps eyes on Maddie, with her luscious curves and tempting lips, he can’t resist getting tangled up with her.
But Maddie is keeping secrets, not the least of which is her true reason for being in town. And when Mick discovers what‘s really going on, there is going to be a whole lot of trouble in Truly.
While I never found out the truth, Maddie must have been short for “Maddening.” Because this story could have been summed up in a few pages if Maddie had simply found one minute to TELL HIM THE BIG SECRET. Unfortunately, she’s so sexxed up over this guy, she can never find the right time to confess their parents are linked. She finds time to tell him the nickname she’s given her vibrator. She finds time to talk about her general hatred of cats. They spend hours and hours together, but it seems that every time she considers confessing, he does something so adorably provocative (like breathe) that the need for honesty just flies from her head. That alone raised my hackles.
But when the Hennessy sex appeal was summed up in the fact that Hennessy men were extremely well-endowed, I just lost all patience with the characters, the plot, and the whole frickin’ book. Really? Mick Hennessy has a tremendous unit? As did his dad? And his grandfather? And this keeps all the ladies in town panting after them–to the destruction of marriages and friendships? Wow. Truly sounds like a shallow town, doncha think? Yeah, well, so’s the book.
Sorry, kids. I just ain’t buying it. Neither should you. We all deserve better than this kind of cliched crap.
Pocket Books 
Rating: 2 Read
The blurb: The future of Charlotte Harris’s finishing school is in jeopardy when a charming Spaniard — world-famous magician Diego Montalvo — arrives to turn the bordering estate into a scandalous pleasure garden. Valiantly ignoring his wicked flirtations, outspoken Lucinda Seton vows to derail his plans and save the school, unaware that Diego’s true mission is to spirit the long-lost heiress away to Spain for a handsome reward! But before long Diego’s heart is playing tricks on him, and Lucy is falling under the illusionist’s spell. How can the Master of Mystery go through with his devilish scheme when all he wants is to make the lovely heiress his own?
For me, the indication of a good book is when I find myself looking for opportunities to read a few pages: traffic jams, bubble baths, while I’m cooking dinner. This book? I brought to the ladies room at the office! That’s never happened before (and probably never will again.)
Lucy Seton is no cardboard cutout and Diego is a charmer from their very first meeting. I found myself thinking of these two even when I wasn’t reading. Lucy’s complexities–her fear of her hoydenish side, her love for her old school, and her growing feelings for Diego–make her a heroine worth admiring and rooting for. Only a man with passion and mystery deserves her and Diego more than fits the bill.
While I understand the series requires the link between Charlotte Harris and her mysterious “cousin,” I found their correspondence at the opening of each chapter more an annoyance than a sub-plot I had to follow. These excerpts (at least I hope they’re excerpts–in a time when correspondence took time to reach people I sincerely doubt three sentences would suffice between these two) did little to enhance the story or clue me in to a growing passion between Charlotte and Michael. By Chapter Three, I found myself ignoring the italicized paragraphs for the more important relationship between Diego and Lucy.
Happily, Diego and Lucy did not disappoint. I absolutely loved this story, filled with rich characters, beautifully crafted love scenes, and a feel-good ending that left me sated and sublime!
Harper Collins
Rating: Not 2 Read
The blurb: How did this happen? Georgie York, once the costar of America’s favorite television sitcom, has been publicly abandoned by her famous husband, her film career has tanked, her father is driving her crazy, and her public image as a spunky heroine is taking a serious beating.
What should a down-on-her-luck actress do? Not go to Vegas . . . not run into her detestable former costar, dreamboat-from-hell Bramwell Shepard . . . and not get caught up in an ugly incident that leads to a calamitous elopement. Before she knows it, Georgie has a fake marriage, a fake husband, and maybe (or not) a fake sex life.
It’s a paparazzi free-for-all, and Georgie’s nonsupporting cast doesn’t help. There’s Bram’s punk-nightmare housekeeper, Georgie’s own pushy parent, a suck-up agent, an icy studio head with a private agenda, and her ex-husband’s new wife, who can’t get enough of doing good deeds and saving the world—the bitch. As for Georgie’s leading man, Bram’s giving the performance of his life, but he’s never cared about anyone except himself, and it’s not exactly clear why.
Two enemies find themselves working without a script in a town where the spotlight shines bright . . . and where the strongest emotions can wear startling disguises.
I’m suffering from a deep depression: my favorite laugh-out-loud author has seriously let me down. If you’ve seen What Happens In Vegas, the episode of Friends when Ross and Rachel elope in Vegas, and have the slightest familiarity with the Brad/Angelina/Jennifer soap opera, you already know this story. Worse, the main characters are so horribly unlikeable, I found myself wondering why I was supposed to care.
Georgie is a whiney doormat who constantly tells herself she has to take over her life, but does nothing but follow along for about 200 pages. Bram is a reformed profligate who’s trying to regain his former celebrity status by not letting anyone know he’s cleaned up his act. (Yeah, that’ll get him far…) Imagine a clean and sober Courtney Love still acting like an addict demanding she be given the chance to write, produce, and star in the latest rendition of Casablanca. It would make just as much sense.
Bram and Georgie were teenage stars on a sitcom that was eventually cancelled due to Bram’s sex video. And the constant references to Scooter and Skip (their television characters) made me want to hurl. The two have despised each other from about Season 2 on. Now they meet again several times and wind up married after they become victims of a sneaky drugged cocktail while at a party in Las Vegas. Rather than admit they were stoned and stupid, they decide to stay together for a year and fool the press into thinking the marriage is for real. Even the secondary characters gnaw on your nerves. Chaz is grating and a total waste of what might have been an interesting foil for Georgie. Trevor is the cliched gay friend. Aaron’s transformation, under Chaz’s interference, goes a little too far afield. The romance is incredibly abrupt and too far-fetched to root for Georgie and Bram. And of course, everyone ends up matched in the end. Distant dad, the ineffectual agent, the anti-social housekeeper, the nerdly PA… It’s a regular lovefest.
But not for me. The prose was overdone, the characters too shallow and self-absorbed to be likeable, and the storyline straight out of Star Magazine and People. Most cringe-worthy for me? The constant use of the term, “papps” for papparazzi, which had me thinking of an entirely different visual than I’m guessing Ms. Phillips expected.
There are a few mentions of past characters, which was fun, but their inclusion only made me nostalgic for the SEP of the past, the lady with talent and humor. What a disappointment.
2 Read...or Not 2 Read? 